“Personal awareness is the absolute foundation of all individual and professional growth.” These words from executive coach Abby Foster explain why some leaders flourish while others plateau—regardless of their technical skills.
From Accountant to Executive Coach
Abby Foster’s journey is unconventional. She began in accounting, working at companies like 3M and Baker Hughes. But a personality assessment revealed something she had not fully recognized: her true strength was working with people, not numbers.
That discovery led her to found Ahnimisha Consulting and become the executive coach she discusses on The Buck Stops Here podcast.
Consulting vs. Coaching: A Critical Distinction
Foster draws a clear line between the two approaches:
As a consultant, you come with solutions. As a coach, they already have the solution—your job is to guide them.
— Abby Foster
Coaching involves asking questions, listening deeply, and helping clients identify blind spots through self-discovery. The answers are already within them—they need someone to help bring those answers to light.
Why Middle Managers Struggle with Feedback
Foster identifies a critical gap in organizational development: middle managers often cannot give corrective feedback. Fear of conflict, past negative experiences, or simple lack of training leaves them unable to address performance issues.
Her reframe is powerful: giving feedback is like teaching children to brush their teeth. You do it because you care about their future, not because you enjoy the conflict. Corrective feedback is an act of investment in someone’s success.
The Remote Work Communication Crisis
Since 2020, Foster has addressed significant leadership team conflicts that emerged from remote work. Her insight: “70-80% of communication is non-verbal.”
When teams went remote, they lost the casual hallway conversations, the quick clarifications, the ability to read body language. In that vacuum, leaders began assuming worst-case scenarios about miscommunications. Small misunderstandings escalated into major conflicts.
Finding the Right Coach
If you are considering executive coaching, Foster offers criteria for selection:
- Comfort and rapport: You will be sharing vulnerabilities; the relationship must feel safe
- Trust and integrity: Non-negotiable foundation
- Relevant experience: Have they worked with people in similar situations?
- Realistic timelines: Beware of promises that sound too quick
- Structured methodology: They should have a clear coaching plan
Warning signs: Coaches who name-drop clients are revealing a confidentiality problem. Those who lack specific methodologies may be making it up as they go.
The Spades Game Lesson
Early in her career, Foster faced a resistant warehouse manager who refused to implement a new system. Her unconventional approach: she bet him a game of spades. If he won, she would leave. If she won, he would implement the system.
She lost the game. But something unexpected happened—his willingness to engage in that authentic, human moment opened dialogue. He eventually adopted the system anyway.
The lesson: authentic connection breaks barriers that authority cannot.
Everyone Leaves a Legacy
Foster emphasizes that legacy is not optional—everyone leaves one simply by existing. The question is whether you will choose that legacy intentionally or let circumstances determine it.
Leaders who develop self-awareness can shape their impact deliberately. Those who avoid introspection leave their legacy to chance.
For Women in Business
Foster has specific advice for young women entering business: “Embrace your own strengths and view yourself as a unique contributor—without waiting for permission.”
Her own journey required learning to own her capabilities rather than second-guessing herself based on external expectations. That confidence came from understanding herself deeply—the same self-awareness she now helps others develop.
This article is based on Episode 14 of The Buck Stops Here podcast: “The One Guide You Need to Meet on the Mountain” featuring Abby Foster.